She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
