My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
