Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
