Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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