oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
