Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
