So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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