U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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