You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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