if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed đ
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
On a scale of 1-10 Iâm at biblical violence
You canât homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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