She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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