he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
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Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.