how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.