dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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