I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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