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I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
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