no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
