i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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