When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
