I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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