did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
