there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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