i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
bring money and cleavage
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize