were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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