Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like a drive thru vagina
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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