Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
