you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
