If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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