Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
