Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think a kid would responsible me up
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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