Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
