you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
