it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
be right there i have to get my cape
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
