How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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