end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
