After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
