I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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