i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
