Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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