My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
