She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
