i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
