My cat gives me a boner
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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