Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
