Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
