I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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