just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
