do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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