u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
