everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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