just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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