I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
