hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
