a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
