he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
