Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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