she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize