it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
