so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
