Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
