She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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