We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
