just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
PANTIES FOUND
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