So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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