everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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